my professor was talking about how certain poets tend to revisit certain themes in their poetry. if something happened to them in their life, they can't seem to get away from it and for whatever reason it shows in most of their poetry. i didn't think i was like this until she mentioned it and i looked back on all of my poetry. i don't want to go into details but i fell in love and my life turned to hell when i was betrayed over and over again. i've never been the same, i don't trust anybody, i don't have faith in anything, except in my poetry. and in most of my poems, i revisit this infidelity. here's another example, from early on. i wrote this at least 2 years ago. it's just funny how i'm still dealing with this girl now. the same bullshit.

"bulimia"

like an upturned jar of butterflies
my stomach would capsize
and you'd slip, cascading
your way through my
c r o o k e d t e e t h
wearing the spaces
like toxic sheathes.
sometimes you'd
come back every week,
with your meek little fingers
and lies I believed—
I was gagging on vowels;
you were lacing the towels
on my bathroom floor.
when my throat would dry
you'd run and hide but
on the backs of my
c r o o k e d t e e t h
I could taste you